REVIEW: Galaxies vs. Marauders, Sept. 5th at FHL Rink
One Star | Would not recommend

By Captain Galaxie
September 6, 2025 — Frank J. Lada Civic Arena

Opening night in the FHL promised something savory—maybe even spicy. Instead, fans were served a flavorless, under-seasoned 5–1 loss by the Galaxies at the hands of the Marauders. It was a game that started cold, sagged in the middle, and finished with an unpleasant aftertaste.

Like a disappointing prix fixe menu at a trendy bistro, it looked good on paper—but left everyone wondering why they bothered showing up.

Appetizer: Quick Burn

If you blinked, you missed it. The Marauders scored just 45 seconds into the game, catching the Galaxies looking like a team still reading the specials board. It was a bad start, and not the kind you recover from easily.

To their credit, the Galaxies responded halfway through the first period with a clean play: Gates with the assist, Blatt with the finish. 1–1. Hope returned to the table.

But it barely had time to settle. Less than a minute later, the Marauders struck again, reclaiming the lead and snatching momentum back like a forgotten appetizer removed by an overzealous waiter.

Entrée: Served Cold, and Twice

The second period was when the wheels came off—or maybe they’d just never been fully bolted on.

The Marauders added two more goals, both the result of clean puck movement and a Galaxies defense that looked increasingly overwhelmed. Aco, somehow always open, always fast, continued carving through shifts like a chef who brought his own knives.

Meanwhile, the Galaxies looked like a kitchen in the weeds—misfiring passes, broken plays, and a power play that felt more like a time-killing exercise than an opportunity.

Dessert: One Last Spoonful of Sadness

By the third, the Galaxies were pressing, trying to salvage something—anything. But with one minute left on the clock, the Marauders sealed it with a fifth goal, plating an unnecessary final course that no one asked for but got anyway.

Service: Missing Host, Ignored Request

The Galaxies’ team rep was notably absent. Not because of a last-minute no-show, but because he had submitted a clear, respectful, advance request to the league:
“Don’t schedule us on Friday.”

The league went ahead and scheduled the opener on Friday anyway.

After the game, the rep didn’t hold back.

“I said I can’t roll on Friday. I CAN’T ROLL on Friday. I had the date blocked out, I followed procedure, submitted the request, the whole deal. League office schedules us anyway. That’s the league office, man.”

It wasn’t a reschedule. It wasn’t a miscommunication. It was a flat-out overlook—a table request ignored, and a customer left standing in the lobby while someone else gets seated with two extra menus.

Final Thoughts

This wasn’t just a bad loss—it was a poor dining experience. The Marauders got exactly what they ordered: space, time, and a box score padded with goals.

The Galaxies? Cold starters, no service, and a reservation that meant nothing.

Final Score:
“ZERO STARS IF I COULD”

Would not dine again—especially not on Friday.