It's me, hi, I'm the problem it's me.

It seems like there’s no cure for our early-season struggles quite like our captain sitting this one out. It’s been a cruel summer, but we knew he was trouble when after just 3 games he asked to be traded. While officially listed as an "upper body injury," our rep was spotted living it up in New York - clearly on some champagne problems behavior while declaring, "we are never ever getting back together."

Faced with a blank space and a roster full of bad blood, the team turned to Mackenzie, our new mastermind, who quickly proved we could shake it off. He made the call it what you want decision to bring in reinforcements, summoning Tommy and Matt to fill the void left by our absent star and first-round pick Ryan Zack, who is still playing delicate contract mind games.

The opening whistle was almost a state of grace undone by pure chaos: a goalie controversy caused a glitch for the first few minutes while rookie Vanetta made a midnight rain-style dash into the rink. But long story short, the boys decided to fearlessly rally behind this fresh start. They went out on the ice, turned the daylight on the competition, and scraped out the 1—the very first win in franchise history.